We Belong
by Errant Kwil
Summary: Modern AU. After having lived for near-on 1,600 years, Merlin must come to grips with what happened in his far-off past, as well as his recent one. A continuation of the television series 'Merlin'. Merlin/Morgana.
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note:** Hi everyone! This is my first story written under my new pen-name. I have published stories previously, but I wanted a clean slate for future projects, so I won't even name my other account. Anyway, I had the idea for this story after watching _terrilynn88_'s YT video called _we belong :: merlin and morgana (modern au)_. I love the video, and the song called for me to right this. Constructive criticism is welcome! I'm looking for a beta, but if you just want to shoot the breeze/talk about my stories, feel free to join my Discord Server: **mzkBGz8**. I'm posting this chapter after just finishing it to see if there's interest in me continuing. Anyway, thanks for reading, and enjoy! - Kwil

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**Chapter One**

Heaving in a giant lungful of air, you surge up with a gasp and look around with wide eyes, heart hammering away in your chest like someone's trying to play percussion with your insides. After blinking at your surroundings for a second, you slowly exhale, counting to four in your head before drawing in another shaky breath. Your form slumps back onto your couch as your whole body relaxes, previously tense muscles now feeling like liquid. You rub your eyes tiredly before your hand continues its journey down your face, running briefly over your beard, to finally land on your chest with a thud.

You shift your head to take in the mess that is your living room. Your small coffee table, positioned in front of the couch, holds the empty pizza box from last night and a couple of errant pieces of paper. The rest of the small room is littered with towers of books and boxes. You haul your body up into a seated position, resting your elbows on your knees as you run your hands through your hair with a slight growl as you clear your throat. You close your eyes with a sigh, your heart rate finally finding a normal rhythm again.

Nightmares.

You've suffered from them, on and off, for a very long time. Almost 1,600 years. Up until this blood-soaked vision which you've just woken from, it had been an off period which had lasted for three years. You had once thought, hoped even, that as that part of your life faded from history, it would also fade from memory. Alas, as the years turned to centuries and centuries became a millennium, they're still as lucid as the events they're based off, back when you were just becoming a man.

You hunch down further and grab your phone off the hardwood floor, your thumb gently sliding over the plastic buttons before it presses and holds the only speed-dial assigned number. As you audibly hear it start to process the call, you press the phone idly to your mouth and make a silent prayer the call is answered, before completing its transition to your ear.

After a couple of seconds of listening to the line dial and ring, you hear the gentle click as it's answered.

"Hello?" The voice is low, and old, with a slight scratch to it. You let out another heavy sigh as you hesitate, glancing about at the messy apartment around you. "Merlin…?" The voice asks as your silence drags on, "…is that you, my dear boy?"

"Gaius."

You hear a slight shuffling on the other end, before the old man speaks again, "It's been a long time."

"It has." You smile and let out a light, relieved laugh as you feel a couple of tears fall down your cheeks, "Too long, and for that, I am truly sorry."

"There's no need to apologise, Merlin." Gaius pauses, "I wouldn't want to even imagine what it feels like…all this time…"

You nod your head before remembering he can't see you, "Yeah," You mutter as you wipe your face.

"I do need to thank you. Those diaries you sent me were…invaluable. Even now, after all these years, I struggle to grasp the truth in it all…"

"Well, they were yours. I was just returning lost property."

"How did you know I would believe it?"

You let out another laugh, "I was counting on you being…well, you."

You hear a low chuckle come from your oldest friend, "Suffice to say, I am. Reading them was a very peculiar experience. It felt like I was proof reading my work…work I hadn't actually written."

You close your eyes and gently rest the phone against your ear, basking in the sounds coming from the other end of the line.

"If you wouldn't mind…" You hear his voice trail off uncertainly.

"If I wouldn't mind what?" You ask, frowning slightly.

"I'd like to see you. I know, with everything you've been through, it wouldn't be easy for you, so I understand if you can't do it…but all I've got are these entries and silly interpretations of what you could look like, from artists that have no clue…"

"Of course."

You hear a puff of air being expelled, "…Really?"

You nod your head to yourself, "Yeah. I…errr…" You pause, trying to form thoughts into words, "…I need to see you, too." You finally settle on saying.

"Where are you?"

"Carmarthen," You reply with a slight smile.

You hear the line go silent, before you hear him whisper "Merlin's Fort," He then clears his throat and says, "I should have guessed, really. I live in-"

"-Colchester," You interrupt, "I've known you were there since before you could talk, Gaius. The others have all turned up in different places, but not you." You smile again, "Camelot will always be your home."

It feels like you can visibly see him falter, and you can just imagine 'the eyebrow' rising to try and meet his hairline.

"This was Camelot?" He asks softly.

"Once upon a time."

"When was the last time you were here?"

"I haven't been back since they took down the Citadel…after that, it just…didn't feel like home anymore."

"I didn't realise it had been so long. So, it's me coming to you, then?"

"If _you_ don't mind. Otherwise, I can take a few days off work and come across…just as long as we're not actually _in_ Camelot…just outside of it, maybe?"

"Nonsense, my dear boy. I won't have you taking time off work to come and see me, when I'm cooped up here, not doing anything. Besides, like you said, I've always been here. It will be nice to get away for a bit, especially out and about in Wales. Some fresh air might do these old lungs some good."

"If you're sure…" You tell him, scratching your beard idly, "…come over whenever you feel up to it. As you know, I like to hide in plain sight. I have a bookshop on Merlin's Walk, a shopping centre right next to the bus station."

"I'll be on my way, as soon as I can arrange travel."

"Okay, sound's good." You reply, feeling the conversation ending, "I…it might sound weird, and I'm sorry if it does, but I just have to say…it's good to hear your voice again."

"I understand," came Gaius' reply, "For me, it's good to finally be able to put a voice to the name."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

"I have to ask, Merlin…" Gaius says as he takes a sip of his Chai Latte, as you sit in Caffe Nero, across the street from Merlin's Walk, "…why did you contact me now?"

You look down at your Hot Chocolate and give it a slight stir, before dropping the spoon onto the small plate beneath the hot mug. It was three days after your phone conversation, and the old man had arrived at his door only an hour ago. After dropping his bags off in your spare room, you both took a stroll down the Walk and across the road to the small store front situated next to Santander. Drumming your thumb against the ceramic handle, you look back up to your old confidante.

"Nightmares; which aren't anything new." You tell him quietly, after a moment more of thought, "It's been a while, and I just…needed to hear your voice."

The old man nods his head, but you finally see the eyebrow raise and you smother a smile by lifting your drink to your lips.

"My voice? Or any of our voices?" He asks, and you know when he says 'our', he means to include your other friends from back when you were young.

You place the mug back down on the plate with a slight rattle, before giving a slight, one shouldered shrug, "It doesn't matter. It's the same thing, right now."

"What do you mean?"

You sigh slightly and run a hand through your hair, "You all pop up every now and again, all across the UK…none of you at the right ages, at the same time…"

"You mean nobody else is…" Gaius pauses a moment to try and come up with the right word, before deciding on; "…around…right now?"

You shake your head, "Nobody but you who I can talk to, anyway," You smile slightly, "Gwen's four."

You watch as Gaius blinks and makes an oh shape with his mouth, "Oh. That's-"

"-Adorable," You supply, taking another sip of sweet chocolate.

"I was going to say 'hard'…but yes, I can see Baby Gwen being adorable, too. Does anyone ever remember anything?"

You close your eyes briefly as a stab of pain shoots through you at the thought, before you shake your head, "No. Never. It's only due to your own foresight that we can talk like this. I would have gone crazier than I currently am if not for your diaries. That's how I knew you'd be okay in receiving them."

"You've sent them to…me…before…" Gaius gets a weird look on his face, and you feel he's trying to contemplate his numerous lives.

"I have," You confirm, "I have your other books up in my flat. I didn't want to fry your brain by sending everything at once…so now you can read your other lives…as documented by you."

"More interesting reading then, I'm sure."

There's a lull in the conversation, and you both go back to your drinks. Your eyes move past Gaius to flicker over the other patrons and employees of the café, listening to the quiet din as they clatter around tables and chairs.

"And what of Morgana?"

You look back to Gaius and raise one of your own eyebrows, for a change, trying to channel an air of nonchalance.

"Has she returned?" Gaius finishes, watching me closely.

I let go of my mug and tug at my ear for a second, a nervous gesture I haven't managed to shake after all these years, "Yes. And before you ask; yes, she's…around."

"Where?"

"Last time I saw her, she was in London, but whether she's still there, I don't know."

"When did you last see her?"

You start fiddling with the tea spoon that had been lying on your plate, your mind trying to fly past the last time you saw her, "Six years ago."

You look up from the spoon in time to see the eyebrow move once more, and although you've missed seeing it, you wish you hadn't in this instance.

"I think there's something you're not telling me, Merlin."

"I-I mean-we…" You sigh and rub a hand down your face, slouching back in your seat as you look at the man across the table, "I think we always knew it was a possibility…"

You watch as Gaius' eyes squint slightly as he thinks, watching you in return, before saying, "You fell in love with her." It wasn't a question, really.

"Unbelievably…even after everything that happened…I fell in love with her," You confirm.

"What happened?" Gaius asks softly.

"I wish I knew…" You replied, blinking away tears as you give another small shrug, "I loved her. She loved me. Everything was great. Perfect, even. I'd never been happier." You close your eyes and take a deep breath in. "We'd been together for four years, and we'd arranged to go to lunch in her work break. She never showed."

You see Gaius shake his head, even though you're now staring at your mug of half-drunk hot chocolate.

"She left?"

"I wish; that would have made things easier," You tell him, "I went to her office…she's a therapist," You add, shaking your head slightly at the mere thought, "and I saw her, and she saw me…

…and nothing. I didn't see any recognition in her eyes. She didn't pause, she didn't smile. She just…she passed me as if she were passing a complete and utter stranger. Four years of our lives together; gone…just like that."

"You're sure she wasn't just…what's the phrase young people are using these days…'giving you the cold shoulder?'"

"I'm sure," You say, "She can be cold and vindictive when she wants to be; we both know that, but I've always been able to read her. If she was pissed at me, for any reason, she'd damn well make sure I knew it."

"So, what did you do?" Gaius asks me after a moment.

"After using a quick spell to confirm what I already knew, I went to our apartment and packed up my things. It's _a lot_ easier with magic." I sigh and pick at some fluff protruding from the armrest, "I didn't want to confuse her. I mean, can you imagine coming home from work one day to discover someone you didn't know is living in your apartment, claiming to be your fiancé? It would have hurt her going through all of that, and it would have hurt me putting her through it."

"And that was the last you saw her?"

You let out an unamused chuckle, shaking your head, "Arthur never did credit me with an overabundance of brains," You tell him, "We seem to gravitate toward each other if we're in the same vicinity. Six months. I ran into her six months later at a pub, and she somehow remembered me from that day in her office."

"So, you jumped back into it again?"

"Figured it wouldn't happen twice."

"But it did…?" Gaius asks hesitantly.

You nod you head, staring down at the table, "It lasted fourteen months. After we'd gotten back together, I did my best to forget it even happened. Stopped looking for a reason behind it. Only upside is I wasn't blindsided like the first time. I left my job as a University Professor, grabbed my stuff and got the hell out of dodge. I came here, out of the way."

"Did you ever figure out why?"

"I have my suspicions." You tell him idly, "But none I'd like to get into."


End file.
